Kellyann's Reiki-massage & Spiritual Healing
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My thoughts and stories to share

This is A video to introduce my new book ,please excuse the breaks in the video, my computer was acting up:(

my story 
I was born in Northern California on August 16 ,1961 , I was raised on a Ranch.  I have only one sibling :) I have one amazing son who is the light of my life and is the main reason for my success !

 The day I gave birth to my son in 1989 ,was the day I vowed to change my life and get healthy for him! When my son was two years old I went in for surgery due to endometriosis, that was causing excruciating pain!  
It was supposed to be simple just scraping my uterus , however when they got in there they found cancer and removed the uterus. The doctor explained to me in private later that day as I was recuperating from surgery that he had no choice but to remove the uterus to avoid the cancer spreading further. I went in for scans on a regular basis for awhile to make sure the cancer had not spread.
  I asked the doctor to please refrain from sharing this news with my family ,as I did not want them to worry unless they found cancer in any other part of my body. 
 I vowed that day I was going to change my life and I would do everything possible to get healthy for my son! 
 At that time in my life  I was in a very abusive relationship, and had I gained an  enormous  amount of weight, therefore I was quite unhealthy and constantly stressed, which led to the Cancer! I suffered in silence as I lived with a man who was violent and cruel to meluckily he worked out of town for months at a time and came home only on occasional weekends!
  After that Scare I learned everything I could about the disease! I learned that Cancer is born from stress and resentment,and I had a ton of that in my life!  I focused on being healthy and strong for my son ! I worked out on my own with body shaping on TV and watched what I  put in my my mouth !! Within a year  I was able to drop  150 LBs  with no help !
 While I was out walking I met Professor Bushido Kahn:) He saw the bruises on my face and offered to teach me a way to defend myself! I told him I could not pay him, and yet he still gave me Jiu jitsu lessons,to gain my self worth and to protect myself from my husband’s attacks ! I went every day that my husband was gone, and became quite proficient at Jiu jitsu :) I received my 3rd degree Green belt! The next time my husband attacked me He ended up thrown into the rock hearth of the fireplace, and a cracked head! He was arrested and I moved in with my Aunt:)

I finally was strong enough to divorce my husband in 1996 ,and I took my son to Las Vegas, where I met my second husband ,Rodney, at my best friends wedding! 
 He was such wonderful and fun guy to me at first ! I loved him and adored him! He put me through college and helped me get a career as a fitness trainer by putting me through The National academy Of sports medicine ! I have no regrets for my second husband as he helped me when no one else would! Because of him I was able to open up my own business, it was called Body by design personal fitness for women  I opened it in 1996 and it was very successful. I trained many different women ,from housewives ,to professionals, to  dancers and entertainers!  I even had a seniors class  at the Spanish Trail. pool!
  I truly enjoyed helping people to achieve their goals and had a very successful business! 
  In 1998 I had a split in my colon that almost took my life! I was hospitalized for 12 days they removed a foot and a half of my colon and the recuperation time was six weeks! However as soon as I could train again, I prepared for my competition in the women’s open bodybuilding classic here in Las Vegas! October 1998 I placed fifth out of thirty five women in my division ! Now keep in mind, I used to weigh 285 pounds just three years prior to the competition which I weighed in at 165 pounds and only 12% body fat. My business went through the roof !  I was doing so well and was so happy till 5 years later when my husband got involved with drugs and women so sadly, I ended up having to divorce him in 2004. 

So my son and I were on our own!  I rented a lovely home and began training women there every day, as well as homeschooled my son! Business was booming and life was good till I made the critical error getting involved with a man on an internet dating service ! I will call him D. to protect his identity. He was a predator of the worst kind ! He lied to me about everything from what his name was, where he lived what he did for a living and his lifestyle! Little did I know he had multiple personality disorder, bi polarism, paranoid schizophrenia,and severe depression !
  He tricked me into giving up my business and my home and moving my son and I to Oxnard to live with him. It was a nightmare from the beginning and instead of me quitting and going back to Las Vegas I stuck it out !

I moved to California in 2004 from Las Vegas. At the time, I was a certified fitness and nutrition expert and trainer. I tried everything to make my fitness business work,in California but there were way too many trainers out there.So I decided to learn a new trade,and since I was well educated in the human body and how it worked I chose massage:)

 I took night classes for awhile! I found I was quite talented at massage, and I loved it! Although I was not certified, I had no choice but to put what I learned to work for me,or my son and I would be homeless!
I knew I needed a gimmick to make me different than everybody else!
So since I lived near the beach, I decided to take my table and do bikini massages in beach towns  up and down the coast ! Kellyann's bikini Massage was born!

It was on one of these work trips that D lost his mind! We were on our way back from Ontario California and  I'm drinking my water D gave me in the truck and all of a sudden I got woozy,and begin fading in and out of consciousness ! Next thing I remember we are sitting in front of the easy 8 motel and D is talking to the manager through the window and used my Id and credit card, telling the manager that I was very sick and needed to throw up! He took me to the room and he told me to take a shower ,he would get the stuff out of the truck! After the shower he told me to lie down next to him and handed me a water. I drank it down hoping to feel better, when all of a sudden the room started spinning,and D grabbed me and tied my hands behind me and ripped off the towel  ! He was doing unspeakable things to my body and laughing at me!  I remember begging him to please stop! Your hurting me! He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my neck,screaming shut up and die already !!! He pulled it tight the room began spinning,as I desperately struggled for air! As I felt my life slipping away, I was not in the room any more ,I was surrounded by this silvery light ,and I felt safe and loved and protected! Then I heard a voice "Go back Kelly, it is not your time, you have much work to do and your son needs you, right now, you must go back!" 

 Suddenly  I woke up at 2AM  I was alone in the room and frantic to get a hold of my son! D was gone and the room was a wreck the phone was gone all the sheets ,pillowcases towels, my clothing and my purse with my phone and ID were all gone! All I had to cover myself with was the towel that was around my neck! I was dazed and confused I noticed the door wide open and D's truck was gone! He had even cut the phone off of the pay phone in front of the office!I had to get in touch with my son! If he had done this to me what will he do to my son? I waited for someone to show up so I could get help ! The maid came in at 5 AM. I told her what happened she called the manager and he brought me a man’s T-shirt to put on , as well as a phone so I could call my son.! When I called my son he had a story to tell me as well ! D. had called the police and told them a story of him being held up at knife point by my son at the house the police woke my startled son up at 3 Am and of course D. was not there, but had been long enough to take some clothes and get out! Meanwhile the police show up at the motel to arrest me, because of a call from D. that I was a crazy woman and tried to attack him ! The phone rang just as the the police arrived, and cuffed me!

I begged the officer to please answer the phone, it's my son !!! As the officer answered the phone my son explained the whole thing to the officer in charge! One of the officers took me to the hospital to do a rape kit then to the bus station, I had no money so out of the kindness of his heart he bought me a ticket and sent me back to my son who picked me up in LA. Something changed in me that weekend!
   Two weeks later they finally found D and arrested him ! I went to the jail to see him and he cried! "Oh my god I thought he killed you!" I am so sorry, I was behind the glass,I could not stop him from hurting you!" I said what? "Who are you talking about?" He screamed at me "FRANK!" I told the police I did not want to press charges, because I believed he needed mental help, not jail!
They transferred him to the mental institution where his doctor told me of all his conditions,paranoid schizophrenia,sever depression,multiple personality disorder, and bi polarism!  He really had no control over what he had done to me! I felt sorry for D. I wanted to do whatever I could to help him get back to D again. He was there for six weeks . He came home in the end of January 2006. 
 My son went in the Army a few days later and I promised him I would be out of there as soon as I could get D’s mother to move in and take care of him! I was an emotional mess and was unable to work , sleep, or eat , due to all the stress in my life ! My money had been drained from my account, by him while he was out of touch with reality,and what little was left I survived on!  I used everything I had to pay off all the bills , and was dead broke! 
Just when I was ready to give up hope, sitting on my bed with a bottle of pills  a beer and a goodbye letter to my son :( Out of the blue my dear friend Marcia called me, and offered to pay for a u-haul, gas ,and anything I needed to get to her place back in Vegas! I knew I needed to get to a safe and positive atmosphere so I could get myself healthy again ! 
Heres a thought: How did Marcia know to call me at the moment I had given up on life?I believe my Angel was watching over me!
April, 2006 I moved back to Vegas and  stayed with my friend Marcia for 8 months while I was getting my life back on track. I was depressed,sick,and a total mess,so Marcia took care of me and nursed me back to health! One day my son got tired of my boohooing and complaining, and sent e-mail that said " MOM STOP YOUR COMPLAINING! " "I joined the army so I could get you out of that situation and get you medical benefits, as my dependent, but it's not working the way I thought"! "Stop waiting for me to take care of you!" "You are a survivor,you taught me to be a survivor as well!" "You can take care of yourself!" Get off your "ASS" and get out there make a life for yourself!" "I believe in you mom, please believe in yourself!" I know you can do it, I love you,now go to work, you know what to do!" 
WOW, that lit a fire under my butt !
  So I did what I could do to make money,quickly. Since I did not have a training facility for personal training, I did the next best thing!  I took my massage table hired a bodyguard and went to work! I advertised on craigslist and then went to people’s homes and hotel rooms to do massage at night, and I took care of Marcia and her family while she was recuperating due to a hip replacement surgery during the day. Finally after working all hours of the night seven days a week ,living with my friend till January 3,2007 :) I then moved in with my  cousins in  Henderson, while I was saving money  to afford my own place!

In April 2007 I finally got my own cute little house where I could do massage at my home and not do out call anymore.  

I built my reputation and my business,by staying focused on what I needed to do,in order to achieve my goals:) I loved having my own place to work,and I worked hard to create the most relaxing and enjoyable treatment I could,with the most comfortable atmosphere possible:) 
People kept telling me they felt warmth and a tingling sensation when I touched them?

In November 2007 I saw the movie “The Secret”  I began applying it’s teachings on a daily basis ! I listened to Wayne Dyer,Louise Hay,and Ester and Jerry Hicks the teachings of Abraham ! I learned to love and respect myself,as well as love and forgive others:)

3 months later  I moved into a beautiful house and was doing quite well! I had a beautiful place to work and call home thanks to a great landlord! 
It was July  2009  I was in my special store getting candles for my treatment room when a strange woman came up to me and to my surprise she gave me a hug  ! I asked her “Do I know you ?”  She replied “I saw your Beautiful aura, you're a Reiki Master !! I said ” No I just do massage ” :)
She told me "Oh Honey you are so much more than that, You have a great and powerful gift !" "You are A powerful Reiki Healer !"You have more power in your little finger than I do in my whole body! She asked if I would let her train me ….she would prove it to me ! The next week I began my reiki training and within 2 months I was a certified Reiki master  September 2009 ! That is when I changed my business name to “Heavenly Healing Hands Reiki” 

 The energy that flowed through me was warm and tingly for me and my clients, and I was taking away pain and putting people in remission,from cancer,& crohn's disease,as well as reducing swelling from diabetes ,removing chronic back pain ,shoulder injuries, etc.  It was amazing as I felt the energy surge through me and into my clients ! 
 I changed my business by no longer offering a bikini massage, as I had enough confidence in my healing abilities I no longer needed it :)
 Due to the home being put up for sale I moved to my beautiful home in the SW area of Rainbow, where the energy is amazing, and I couldn't be happier! 
I feel I have been truly blessed with this amazing gift and I get more powerful every single day, and I look forward to sharing my gift with you!
Update as of November 1st 2014 due to my landlord wanting to move back to his home, I have relocated to a lovely location in Summerlin area!
 Life is such a beautiful gift, so it should be enjoyed not feared!
Namaste, Kellyann

I wrote this article for my other website and am reposting here


reiki-manifestaciq-simvoli_zpsb7d1f7e6-1_zps4320b86aA few years ago a young boy age 8 was brought to me by his parents  out of desperation !(They had tried everything known to man except Reiki) The boy was half the size of his twin brother, he was very sweet and loving and suffered from chronic migraines and hyperactivity on a daily basis since he was an infant ! As I began Reiki on him a vision came to me of two babies in the womb, one was constantly stealing all the nutrition and leaving very little for the other :( The larger one constantly kicked the smaller one, and climbed on top of him ! While I was visualizing….. I asked the boy how he felt about his brother ,he said “I  love my brother, but I don’t think he likes me much,  he is so mean to me” ! I asked “Why do you think he is mean to you ” ? The boy replied in tears ; ” I think he don’t like me cuz I get more attention cuz I’m sick all times ”  I laid my hands on his head , told him to close his eyes and think happy thoughts as I gave him so much loving energy !! Suddenly he began to smile as he said ” I see bright  colored doughnuts and my daddy ”  :)  I asked him ” How do you feel right now sweetie ?”
He told me his headache was gone and he felt happy ! I asked him what made him so happy?  He replied  “when my daddy takes just me to get a doughnut and we go to the park together ” I told him whenever he feels bad just think about that ! He told me” I always feel bad cuz mommy and daddy fight all the time !” I asked him “Why do you think they fight ?” He replied ” Cuz I am always Sick !”I told him “Sweetheart , it is not your fault  your parents fight ,do not blame yourself !”

I told him he was a very special and sweet boy and had nothing to feel bad about ! He hugged me , and I took him out to his mother and brother waiting in my lobby :) It was 4:00 PM  and he was relaxed happy and pain free ! Normally he would become very hyper and misbehave around 3:30 which was the time he was getting out of school to go home, but not today ! His mother was amazed at how calm he was and the funny thing is he has never had a headache since !
I have recognized my gift of clairvoyance ,that I am able to help people by looking into their past to discover the origin of their illness or pain !

A short time later I met a 40 year old man with severe anxiety and Crohns disease! As I laid my hands upon him , there came to me a vision !

I  saw a small boy locked in a dark room crying !  I saw a woman and two young girls walking past the small dark room, but never opening the door to let him out ! There was a large man who was walking away from all of them , and leaving the boy in the dark ! I shared with my client what I saw as I laid my hands on his abdomen . He  cried “My mother never wanted me , she always locked me in the closet and told me she wished I was never born “!!! He said his father left when he was little and his sisters were given anything and everything they wanted ! He told me he was in Vegas for his mothers funeral that weekend and that he hated her so much, that he spit on her grave ! I told him that he needed to let it go and forgive her so that he can have peace within ! I told him that his crohns came from burying  his anger,his hatred and his guilt ! He cried and when he was done the pain in his abdomen was gone ! To this day three years later it still has never come back !
I have discovered that Every single disease or illness comes from buried emotions and painful experiences from childhood ! If you are feeling terrible about yourself for a long period of time, or carrying hatred, and anger ……Sooner or later  an illness will manifest itself within you guaranteed !

There have been many more experiences throughout the years like the ones I mention here , but these two were at the beginning of my Reiki career ! I am not saying I can cure you of your ailments, because truthfully you have to make up your mind you are ready for help to find out what caused your pain or suffering in the first place, than we can work together to make you a healthier, happier person :)

Wishing  you all the best , Kelly

Why do we think of food as a reward or a booboo fix ?

2013-02-11 00.13.40

I was out having breakfast with my son this   morning, when I noticed a little girl standing behind  her mother as she was paying the check,when the mother turned to leave, her purse hit the little girl and she fell to the floor! As the little girl began crying, her mother said ” Oh sweetie I am so sorry,how can mommy make it better? How about a   sucker?” As the little girl stopped crying she handed her the sucker and out the door they went !

As my son and I witnessed this, it made me think , No wonder there are so many chubby unhealthy kids, that turn into Fat Adults ! By us as parents giving treats, for good behavior, or sweets for boo boo’s, we are creating a future weight problem for our children !

How many times were you offered a cookie for something good you did ? Or Ice cream if you skinned your knee ? I can think of many times I was offered a brownie, or cookie, for an A on my report card, or Ice cream at Farrell’s Ice cream parlor for being quiet in church!

How many of you are guilty of bribing  your children with their favorite foods, to quiet them in the grocery store?  Or to get them to clean their rooms, you promise them Mcdonald's ? How many of you are in the habit of stopping for fast food instead of cooking meals? The problem is that as children we are  programmed, that we eat certain foods to reward ourselves or to make us feel better, which carries over to adulthood, and into our own children   I am sure you all have heard the word “comfort food “? Where do you think that comes from ? Many of us have grown up thinking that food makes us feel better ! The truth is …. it ends up making us feel worse ! I became aware of this fact when I grew up to be a FAT and Unhealthy adult ! I found that as I was growing up , any time I had my feelings hurt, or felt sad or lonely, or depressed , I would eat !!! Ho hos, Twinkies,  and my all time favorite doughnuts !! I hated myself, and my life, and the only thing I could enjoy was sweets !! Sugar gave me an instant rush while consuming it, but when the sugar metabolized , I was back to feeling bad again and would end up in a binge,  to get that happy feeling again !  I started to get fat and my father kept telling me to go on a diet ! I was monitored on the amount of food eaten at meal times to help me lose weight ! Little did Dad know that I had a stash of goodies hidden away for later , and so as not to get fat, I would purge to get rid of it ! It was a viscous cycle that darn near killed me !

I became bulimic in my teens, my hair began to thin, from lack of vitamins my teeth became week from throwing up all the time, I had dark circles under my eyes , and it got to the point that I could not keep anything down at all ! But hey,  I was thin, so I did not think I had a weight problem 

One night after a binge as I was purging myself to get rid of it , my stepsister  walked in on me sticking my finger down my throat ! She ran and told my Dad , he came in my room and found my stash of  Oreo’s,chocolate bars,M M’s ,and chips ahoy cookies under my bed !!  He punished me and took away all my goodies , The next day he took me to a psychologist, where I was put in the psych ward for a lovely two week stay, where I was put on medication and monitored 24 hrs a day to prevent me from throwing up my food ! When I came home,my Dad kept an eye on me to make sure I did not throw up after eating, and had my stepsister keep an eye on me from stashing food ! I was like a junkie!!! I needed my sugar , but knew I could not purge, nor could I gain weight , or Dad would know ! So I discovered EX-LAX !!! I could eat, and lose everything through the other end ! WoooHOOO !!! I thought I had solved my problem and my Dad never knew !

This went on as part of my lifestyle till I graduated high school and I moved out on my own ! I got tired of having to stay close to a bathroom ,so I stopped using laxatives, but would purge myself if I overate !  Little did I know, that the damage to my colon was extensive from the laxatives (which showed up later in life:(  ! At the age of 23 I met my first husband,who was a severe alcoholic and quite abusive when he got drunk  But such a nice guy when he was sober ! I had been with him for 5 yrs and at 28 I gave birth to my wonderful son Drew, My reason for living had arrived !

My husband went to work out of town the day my son was born for 6 months ,so  I was very happy being home with my baby and not having him around to belittle me and beat me up I had no reason to overeat !!  When his job ended out of town  he came home,and the abuse began again!! Although I was eating my comfort food again, I was working  for a construction company on the road crew, so I stayed very slim ,due to the hard work and  not having any time to binge eat during the day  When the job came to an end and I was laid off , I got a receptionist job at a propane company. My husband drank from the time he got off work till the bar closed every night:(  I began packing on the pounds again since I no longer had a physical job,  I went from a size 4 to a size 18-19 in nothing flat !! I was huge ! I started the laxatives again to loose the weight ! After 3 years of this  abuse on my body , I collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital !

My insides were a mess and to top it off, I found out I had severe Endometriosis and had to have surgery to remove it ! During the surgery they discovered I had Cancer !!!! Oh my God the BIG “C” The doctor removed my Uterus which was full of Cancer !

It was at that moment, I decided to quit damaging myself, and start getting healthy for my boy ! My husband went out of town to work again, and I started my treatments for the Cancer (He and my family never even knew ) !! After 6 months I was done with treatments and the cancer was no where else in my body !! I was ready to get myself healthy for good this time !

I started working out every morning before work,and Jujitsu at night ,every time I thought of binging I would think of my son, as I knew I had to get healthy so I could take care of him and get away from the miserable SOB that I married ! I stayed focused on the big picture and taught myself not to look at sweets for comfort but as a once a week treat that I would allow myself  only if I lost weight :) Basically I had to change the way I thought of food, that it was fuel for my body and nothing more !

It was tough to retrain my brain that sweets are not for rewards, or for making me feel better when I was down, but only something to enjoy once in awhile for the Delicious taste, once in awhile ! I was motivated , that I would  raise my son different,so he would never go through what I had 

I never gave him goodies or fast food , but instead I would take him to have Sushi and go to a movie, which he loved !! For a reward I would buy him a skate-board, for a job well done ! I worked out every day and my son would  sometimes, ride his bike while I ran a mile or two  :)  To this day ….my son has never had a weight problem, nor does he think of sweets as a reward :)He works out daily, he cooks his own food, never has fast food ! He and I go to Sushi once a week and the rest of his time he eats  healthy:)  He skates for hours and is amazing to watch  :) He does not have a craving for fast food because I taught him at a very young age the fun in cooking meals at home together ! Oh and by the way….. He is an awesome cook !

So you see…… it is very easy to program our kids at a very young age for health and fitness, and it is a lot of fun to cook together, or workout, or hike together ! Instead of going for dessert, go for a bike ride, or a walk together with your kids, or make it a family affair to cook together, and to play together ! Get out of the house, and away from the video games, or the TV, and go have fun ! Take your kids to the park to play with the family dog , or throw the Frisbee, play, ball, or anything to get them active ! They will thank you in the long run and you will enjoy fun as a family !

Blessings my dear friends, Kellyann


This video above is my thoughts on the trouble todays youth faces and how we raise our kids !
I'm not an expert ,just someone who cares ,that wanted to express my opinion!
 parenting is not an easy task, nor is it an exact science, but has been and is a wonderful experience that I would not trade for the world :-) I raised my son on my own and I couldn't be more proud of how he's turned out :-)

Did you know that everything you say, do or feel has a long lasting result on your children?

Let me explain…….. When I was a child barely 3,  I remember my mom would come out into the living room in the morning wearing her stirrup stretch pants, and a white t shirt  she would turn on the TV to watch the Jack La lane show  She would bring a chair into the room and begin doing the workout with Jack ! I would go get my little chair and follow along with her.  I grew up to be a fitness trainer and actually used those same methods to train myself and my clients ! I still do the Jack La lane type exercises !

This was a positive action from my childhood that effected me in my adult life 

However what about the negative things we witness as children ? For example:  on the TV , or in the video games , or just in every day happenings ?

As parents we do our best to protect our children, So…..let’s say you are having marital problems, and you think it is better you stay together for the childrens sake ? So you play nice when around the kids and have it out when you are alone together ! Or maybe you both just don’t talk to each other and suffer in silence ? If you think your kids don’t feel what you feel, and don’t know what is really going on ????? Think again !!

 Children feel energy imbalance more than anyone , they get cranky, they cry a lot, they get sick, they get headaches, and physical problems ! The truth is that kids are new spirits and have not closed themselves off as adults do ! As we grow up we are influenced by everything around us ! We learn how to speak from our parents and our surroundings, we learn how to walk by watching , we learn how to eat by watching, and we learn how to think by watching, and listening ! often times we do not realize that our baby has a little computer running 24 -7 and storing data that he or she sees,hears,touches,tastes, and experiences, that will shape him or her into the person they are destined to become!I know many couples including my parents that were miserable with each other, but stayed together “for the kids sake” Which is quite possibly the worst thing you can do , let me explain why! My parents stayed together till I was 9 years old, they used to fight a lot especially when dad came home drunk ! he would smell like beer ! My mother would send my sister and I to our rooms to  play to keep us from hearing the fight that  was soon to follow !  I remember when I was 8 my father  got a job out of town, so the only time we saw him was when mom would drive us to Ione Calif to the “bed bug Inn” where he was staying, to have dinner and be a family for the weekend  :) I remember one time that we went to Ione to surprise Daddy, Mom knocked on the door and a woman opened the door, that we did not know, but judging from Moms reaction, she did not know her either ! My dad came to the door in a robe and my mother grabbed my sister and I by the hand and took us away to the car! She cried all the way home!  My sister and I were scared and sad even though we really did not know what had just happened! All we knew was Daddy was upset and so was Mommy !!  When you are angry, or sad, you emit an energy  frequency , that children can feel, and they in turn respond in the same way, angry, or sad ! It does not matter if you smile and put on a front to them, they react to your true feelings ! I remember that Daddy was not home for a very long time, and then on Christmas eve while my sister and I were snooping for presents, we found the divorce papers, I was 9 years old at the time and I could read what it said ,not quite understanding what it meant , I put them back where I got them ,and continued our search for the goodies !

The next day was Christmas, and my Dad came home for the weekend! Santa had showered us with all kinds of wonderful toys and goodies, and yet something just did not feel right ?  I remember on Sunday when dad left, he took a lot of stuff with him! My mother called us downstairs and told us that Daddy was not going live with us anymore:( Although we were sad at first, we were a lot happier later, as my Mom was happy, and smiling again, and I noticed that whenever she came home from work, she happily fixed us dinner and helped us with our homework :) We were all much happier when my dad was no longer there!

We were happy till my father decided to take me away to live  with him and his new wife :( I was so sad without my sister and my mother, and I soon realized that I was thrown right back into the same situation again of dad, drinking and being nasty to his new wife !

Ok I am kinda getting off the beaten path here, but you get the jist of what I am saying right ?  Our children grow up emulating us ! I am sure you have heard the saying “girls grow up to marry men like their fathers ”  “Boys grow up to be their fathers”  “Boys grow up and marry women like their mothers”  Now in a perfect world, if the child had a loving doting caring father, then that would be great ! However what if  the child’s  father was abusive to their mother, either verbally, or physically, or God forbid sexually abusive to the child ?? The girl will  grow up and marry an abusive man 9 times out of 10 just like I did ! Why , you ask? Because that is what she is programmed to believe is what she is supposed to do ! In the case of a son growing up like his father, the same applies he will generally grow up to be an abusive husband and father , because that is what he learned from his father :(

I ended up marrying a man exactly like my father, he was abusive, in every way possible, and I took it ; till I had my son 6 years later!  The moment I looked into my sons precious little face I realized I had to make some serious changes in myself and my life, before it effected him in a negative way, as I had been effected by my childhood !

My husband worked in the union , so quite often he would get work out of town, during which time, there was peace and quiet for  my baby boy and I :)

 On one of his visits home he beat me up pretty bad, so I  started taking jujitsu lessons to protect myself from his abuse!   I learned not only how to protect myself but also about my own self worth, that I deserved better ! I trained 6 days a week , and quickly moved up the ranks to a Green belt !

I remember the night I finally left…… My son was 4 years old , my husband came home stinking of booze and women,yelling at me to fix him his dinner ! He came into my room jerking me out of bed by my hair, he told me to get up and fix him dinner , I put on my bathrobe and went out to the kitchen to cook him a steak and a potato to eat ! I served it to him and started to go back to bed . As I turned to walk away, he through the plate of food , hitting me in my head and knocking me to the floor! As I started to get up he grabbed me by my hair and threw  me at the wall ! My son came out of his room crying , and I told him to go back to bed ! I started to run towards the bedroom when my husband grabbed me from behind  ! He was quite surprised when I reacted by throwing him over my shoulder cracking his head on the fireplace hearth! I then ran to my bedroom and locked the door ! Little did I know that my 4 year old son had dialed 911 and the police were on their way ! The police arrived quickly and my husband was arrested !!! I left that next day and filed for divorce shortly after ! I knew that I did not want my son raised to be like his father, so I took him away !

I know sometimes I can be pretty graphic in the way I explain things , but I just want you all to understand exactly what I am trying to share with you :( I was able to  break the cycle for myself and for my son by changing our situation, getting us out of the bad frequency, and into a more positive and loving environment :) Even if it means you have to leave the one you are with, to protect your children, DO IT !!!

Thankfully,my son has grown up to be a kind ,giving, and caring young man, and  nothing like his father ! Yes, it was hard to leave and start over! However; I am glad I was strong enough to break the cycle, so my son would not be doomed to be like his father, and end up raising kids that were like his father and on down the line !

The only way to prevent this from happening ? Either seek councleing or change the situation, before your children grow up in it!

Blessings my friends !



Do you think there is another plane of existence for us after we leave our bodies ? It does not matter if you are religious or not, the point is that there is , in my opinion..... another plane of existence ! Let me just give you a few things to consider ......

 First of all , do you sometimes feel like you have been somewhere or met someone before, but knew you never had ?

My theory is this....
I believe we are given a choice of either being born into a human vessel, or we can stay in our own paradise and watch over others while they go through their assignment :)
Sound a bit science fiction, to ya  huh ? Think about this, Let's say we are all spiritual beings on another plane, and we are all allowed to choose our destiny, of  how our life is going to play out, it would explain the old quote "God does not give you anything you can't handle" Perhaps we chose our parents, our friends, our talents etc.? Have you ever met someone and instantly felt a kinship with them ? Perhaps they are there to guide you to the next step in your destiny ? I believe that we come to earth to learn new things , like we are going to school everyday,and we will continue  until we have learned everything we wanted to learn for this trip to earth:) I believe  we remain in these vessels we call our bodies until we have reached our ultimate goal, however; if we do not learn our lessons, we can not move forward!
I think that if we miss use our vessels and they break down before we have completed our assignment, we have to keep coming back till we get it right :)
OK try this one .... Think of life like a raging river that has large stones you have to jump to, you start from the bank and jump to the first stone, after you accomplish the assignment you jump to the next stone, and so on , but every now and then you fall into the river and you have to climb back up and try again ! Eventually you will reach the bridge where things are smooth and you can casually walk across to the other side , back to peace and paradise ! However,There is no easy way to get to the bridge, you have to accomplish each task  before you can move to paradise,so you can't force the issue !!!!  Life is a journey, it is full of good things and bad, but either way, they are all lessons to get you to your destination :)So what I am saying is that there is always a solution to life's ups and downs, and if you always look for the good in every situation, you will always find it, but if you remain in the past, you will never find your purpose !
 People tend to hold on to past failures instead of embracing them as challenges that give you strength for the person you are to become ! The past should be looked at, as just that !"THE PAST" If I  had dwelled on all my past situations, I would never have survived this far ! Realize this..... that you can control what you feel , but not what other people do or feel! No one can "make" you feel anything ! You chose to stay in the "VICTIM " mentality, when all you have to do is let it go and don't put yourself in that situation again !
Learn your lesson, and move on! 
written by, Kellyann novak 

Hello my friends, Kellyann here;angel_and_children

I wanted to share my thoughts about "Imaginary friends" What do you think they are ?

When we were children we all have had an imaginary friend or two right? Do you remember yours ? Do you remember what they looked like ? Who told us that they were imaginary ?  Our parents right ? As children; our minds are open to "all things are possible!"  However as we get older and more exposed to what "society" says is true or imaginary, we begin to lose our belief  in our "imaginary friends", so we forget all about them !

What if...... they were not just our imagination? What if.... they were our spirit guides or Angels , who were sent to earth  to help us through our trials and tribulations of life?

Perhaps;  As we grew up, they never really went away, but only became invisible because we no longer believed in them ?  I believe they are still with us and therefore are not imaginary at all ! No;  I haven't snapped my cap,just think about this..... When we are children with our innocence and wonder still intact,we are open to see our guides, or our Angels, as we have not been given any reason to not believe in them ! However; As we grow up and keep hearing from our parents  "That's Impossible, it is just your imagination playing tricks on you !" We accept it as truth and we refuse to see them anymore ! Our minds accept what we believe to be true, but if we no longer believe, than our minds refuse to allow us to see our Angel friends any longer :(  The fact is that part of the mind used for spirit communication is the imagination, so I would say that this is why children are more open to spirits or Angels, as they are  more free with their imagination,wouldn't you ?
Did you know that in the center of our  brain is a gland which scientists have discovered is actually very similar to an eye? It actually , has  the same rods and cones as our eyes do ?  This gland is called the pineal gland and I believe is our "mind's eye" and our link to the spirit dimensions :)
Mystics  refer to this as our  "third eye" or" Physic eye"  and is the gateway to the spirit or Angelic Realm!! I have mine open and I am therefore  able to call upon my Angels for my healing to others ! Whether you believe it or not, has no bearing on what I know I can see or  feel , as It is what you believe to be true ,that is true for you! :)

So...... the next time your child tells you they have a secret friend that only they can see ? Just listen to what they have to say, and don't condemn them or tell them ,they are not real, You might be surprised at what you can learn from your children! Be open to the idea that they have angels watching over them, and you might even  get a chance to see things through your child's eyes :)

Blessings, of love and light,Kellyann

What about "SOUL-MATES"
I believe that we all have a soul mate, but it is up to us to find each other! If things are not how you want them to be? Then change it ! Life is very short, and if you waste all your time trying to change someone to suit you, than you are spinning your wheels and not going any where !
 People ask me all the time "why are you still single ?" I answer "Because I have not met my soul-mate yet !" I am happy with me, and I am patient, as I know that one day I will meet my soul-mate when the time is right :)

 For example, how many couples do you know, that met and fell in love on the first date , and are truly blissfully happy ? It is rare but it has happened ! They were lucky enough to find each other and did not settle for someone they were not completely compatible with :)
Or maybe you know people that , have had several failed relationships , perhaps you fall into this category ? Are they or you ,perhaps repeating the same scenario over and over ? We are all creatures of habit, and we tend to stay with what is familiar, even though it does not feel good !  Think about this.... If you continue to have the same results every single time? What is the common denominator of the relationships ? "YOU"  You have to change yourself first, by treating yourself with love and respect otherwise how can you expect someone else to treat you with love and respect ? How can you expect different results if you keep staying with the same type of person ?
 So the question is do you break the cycle ? Here's what I did ;  make a list of everything you want in a relationship, everything from how the person  looks, hair color, color of  eyes, smile, personality,be precise and have fun with it:) Think of it like putting in your order to the universe:)                                                                                                                      
What kind of a relationship do you think you deserve ? Is that what you have now ?  I believe that if you are meant to move on from someone, than you have already learned what you needed to learn from that person ! It  becomes extremely difficult to stay happy,and the longer you hold on, the more difficult things will become , you will feel disconnected, and agitated :( and eventually you will leave them or vice versa !! I believe it is the Universes way of pushing you forward to your next step, and closer to your destiny !
I know kinda strange huh ? However it does make sense if you think about it ?So my friends look within and find your happiness do not try to get it from outside , as it won't be there ! Find your own self worth, and everything else will fall into place !
I welcome your comments, Blessings, Kellyann


How Finding Your Life Purpose Awakens The Powers  within You !

I wanted to share this with all of you !!!!

Why is knowing our life purpose important in our life ?

This question is best answered  by Vishen Lakhiani’s theory on creative congruence or ‘Flow’. He states that we are most empowered in our lives when we are in a state of flow. Vishen writes:  As I've grown and matured I have noticed a recurring pattern in my life. Things move the easiest – business,family life, friendships, my goals - when I am in a state of Flow. What do I mean by “Flow”? It is a feeling of happiness in the present while having a positive expectancy for the future. But let me break it down further. The state of Flow has been described in different ways by different people. Tony Robbins calls it “State”. Jose Silva calls it “Expectancy”. Donald Trump refers to it as “Positive Stamina”. I believe they are all referring to the same thing. Flow is composed of two ingredients. The first is being happy in the now. This means being happy and joyful in your present state. It’s about enjoying the journey and not the destination.

The next ingredient is vision. It’s about having a powerful, beautiful dream for who you want to be and what you want to accomplish and contribute to the world in the future. So according to Vishen we need two things to be ‘aligned with the Universe’ and in Flow. We need to be happy with where we are right now. BUT We also need to have a Vision for our future. Now, here is a quick question on whether you are living your life purpose: Are you happy with what you are doing? Here lies the problem – many of us take on careers such as law, medicine or architecture because that is what our parents did or that is what we think will pay our bills and make us rich. For instance, you might not be passionate about accounting but your job pays for the house, the car and all the extra nice things you want so you stick to the job, not because you want to but because it is the practical thing to do. And yet, at the end of the day, are you truly enjoying what you are doing?

Ok let me interject here, and share something with you about my experience and why I agree with what is presented here; For example: I wanted
  to be in a job to help people,So I studied and trained and became a Personal trainer:) The bosses I had were very greedy,and self centered! I on the other hand was passionate about getting people results they seeked! I decided to take a huge chance and quit my job and start my own personal training business! Everything fell into place and my first business was born "Body By Design Personal Training and fitness" People told me to get a steady job,that I was crazy to try to train people on my own! I did not listen,because I was following my passion, nothing they said mattered to me! I ended up running "Body by Design from 1998 to 2004, than "kellyann's bikini massage" on the beaches of southern Ca.,from 2004 till 2006 turned into "heavenly Healing Hands Reiki" from 2006 to 2012, Now known as "Kellyann's Reiki,Spiritual Healing"! I followed my passion and I look forward to each and every day and in fact love my job:)   By Kellyann

Here’s the thing, if you are not enjoying what you are doing, you will never be truly great at it. Everything you take on after that will always be an uphill battle because you are not in that state of flow. Flow requires that you be Happy in the Now. A job that does not light the fire of passion within you will not do this. But it’s worse than that.  If you are not passionate about your job it is also very likely that you will not possess a grand vision for what you want to create and whom you want to be in respect to this job.
Both ingredients of flow are now missing. You are neither happy, nor do you have a vision of what you want to accomplish. Why is knowing our life purpose important in our life?  The truth is hard to swallow but here it is…

If you are stuck in this situation, the best tip Vishen Lakhiani can give you is to QUIT. It is never too late to start doing something that you truly enjoy. If you choose to continue being out of that state of flow, things will continue as before. But know this, stagnation is worse than change.

Stagnation breeds complacencin the worst possible way. Mediocrity will follow you like a shadow all your life. If you are not in your state of flow, you will only end up being a second grade architect, or a doctor that is just getting by, or a writer that just can’t make the bigger publishers squeal. If you are not happy and you don’t have grand visions of what you are doing, then this is a sign that this is not part of your life purpose. Now, reverse all those situations above and imagine yourself in a state of flow. What truly excites you? You could be anything you want and still do amazing things in the world. Yes there are wealthy lawyers, bankers and accountants. But there are also wealthy artists, blog writers and stay-at-home moms who run small home businesses. Even if you choose to be a graffiti artist, you could still be great at it. Take the graffiti artist, Banksy, for instance, who astounded the world with his guerilla street art, whose works have sold for hundreds of thousands of pounds, and is wanted by dozens of celebrity collectors including Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Christina Aguilera. Or you could be a cook with a greater vision beyond the kitchen. Look at Jamie Oliver  the voice for a healthier diet. He changed the way kids in British schools eat and continues to educate people on the benefits of healthy eating.

 It is possible to truly thrive and be successful in any field but you have to be certain that this is the field for you to grow. There are mediocre carpenters and then there are cutting-edge furniture designers. There are common masseurs and then there are expert stress therapists. There are simple house nannies and then there are passionate governesses.

 When you are happy in the now and you have bold visions for the future, this is FLOW. When we are in a state of FLOW, so many things in our life just seem to go right. The right people step into our lives, the right opportunities fall into our laps. It is as if the Universe is conspiring on our behalf. When you’re living your life purpose, you cannot help but be happy and have grand visions of what you want to do. You’re in Flow. And the world is a far more beautiful place not just for you, but for every life you touch.